Episode 118: Breaking Free From Expectations with Spencer West
What You’ll Learn
What does it mean to truly live as yourself?
For many people, authenticity isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about uncovering who you’ve always been underneath societal expectations, family conditioning, trauma responses, and the pressure to fit in.
In Episode 118, Kara Lovehart welcomes motivational speaker, disability advocate, and author Spencer West for a powerful conversation about identity, self-trust, resilience, and the courage required to live authentically.
Born with a genetic condition that led to the amputation of both legs at age five, Spencer shares how growing up disabled and queer shaped his relationship with belonging, self-worth, and personal freedom.
Together, Kara and Spencer explore how trauma impacts the nervous system, why self-awareness must include the body, and how healing often begins when we stop performing and start listening to ourselves.
About Our Guest
Spencer West is an internationally recognized motivational speaker, disability advocate, author, and content creator.
Known for his powerful storytelling and advocacy work, Spencer inspires audiences worldwide through conversations about resilience, accessibility, authenticity, mental health, and personal empowerment. His newest book, Breaking Free: Stop Following Expectations and Start Following Yourself, helps readers identify inherited beliefs and reconnect with their authentic selves.
Visit Spenser’s Website
Follow On Instagram || Facebook || YouTube
Key Insights & Takeaways
Authenticity Begins With Awareness
One of the strongest themes throughout this conversation is that authenticity is often a process of remembering.
Many people spend years adapting to external expectations—whether from family, culture, religion, career paths, or relationships. Over time, these expectations can become so familiar that we lose touch with our own desires.
Spencer shares that one of the most transformative questions he encountered in therapy was simple:
“What do you like?”
For many people, that question is surprisingly difficult to answer.
The Body Holds Important Information
Kara and Spencer dive deeply into somatic awareness and the importance of listening to the body.
As a disability advocate, Spencer explains how many disabled individuals naturally develop a heightened awareness of their bodies and environments because accessibility and navigation require constant attention.
This awareness becomes a powerful reminder that healing isn’t only mental—it is physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual.
Self-Love Changes Relationships
One of the most moving parts of the conversation centers on love and relationships.
Spencer shares how years of dating frustrations shifted when he stopped looking for someone else to prove his worth.
Instead, he focused on building a life he genuinely enjoyed and cultivating self-love from within.
Only then did he meet his partner, Mario.
The lesson isn’t that self-love guarantees a relationship. The lesson is that genuine self-acceptance creates a stronger foundation for connection, whether romantic, platonic, or communal.
Being Seen Is a Human Need
Throughout the episode, both Kara and Spencer return to a common truth:
Human beings deeply desire to be seen.
Not for their performance.
Not for their achievements.
But for who they truly are.
Authenticity creates space for that level of connection and belonging.
Resources & Next Steps
- Read Breaking Free: Stop Following Expectations and Start Following Yourself
- Follow Spencer West on social media
- Explore somatic healing practices and nervous system regulation tools
- Journal on the question: “What genuinely brings me joy?”
Spiritual Steep Author Talk
Join us for a live Q&A with Spencer West on June 25th at 6:00 PM Eastern Time for the Spiritual Steep Author Talk, hosted by New Visions Books & Gifts.
Attend in person at New Visions Books & Gifts in York, PA, or join online from anywhere.
Bring your questions, connect with fellow readers, and dive deeper into the themes of authenticity, self-trust, and personal freedom explored in Breaking Free.
FAQ
Who is Spencer West?
Spencer West is a motivational speaker, disability advocate, author, and content creator known for his work around authenticity, resilience, disability awareness, and personal growth.
What is Breaking Free about?
The book explores how to identify societal conditioning, reconnect with your authentic self, and make aligned choices rooted in self-trust.
What does authenticity mean in this episode?
Authenticity is described as letting go of inherited expectations and reconnecting with who you genuinely are.
Why do Kara and Spencer discuss somatic awareness?
Because healing and self-discovery happen not only through thoughts, but through awareness of the body, emotions, and nervous system.
How can someone begin living more authentically?
Start by becoming curious about what genuinely brings you joy, what feels aligned, and where you may still be living according to external expectations.
Related Episodes
- Episode 117: How Hidden Toxins & Gut Health Impact Chronic Disease with Martha Carlin
- 116: Joy as Resistance in an Overwhelmed World with Diane Shiffer
- 114: Awakening Through Trauma: Mediumship, Healing & Soul Wisdom with Susan Grau
- 107: Rethinking Psychedelic Healing: Trauma-Focused, Somatic & Ketamine-Augmented Therapy with Courtney Gable
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